I’ve always been the girl who looked forward to Valentines day, then again, I’ve also always been the girl who always had someone on Valentines day. I always looked forward to the gifts and flowers and feeling even more special than I already do when I’m with my significant other. I looked forward to the nice dinners, and the kind gestures that my boyfriend would not ordinarily do. I loved Valentines day because it was the one day that we could both set our differences aside and celebrate love and our relationship and remind ourselves of why we stayed together.
I’m noticing that as I’m moving into the “mid-” 20s category, Valentines day has become so complex with feelings and emotions that I’m starting to just suppress it all. We’re getting to that age where there is no more innocence, we’ve all been tainted or ruined by past love affairs, we no longer give the ‘benefit of a doubt,’ and we no longer wear our heart out on our sleeves, the way we once did when we were 16-21. I’m wondering though, is there such thing as moving past those happenings, and starting anew? Or is it that every time something traumatic happens, it’s time to cut your losses and move on? That’s the complicated thing about being in your 20s and even early 30s. You have options, there are plenty of opportunities, you’re not tethered down or bound by contractual agreements. My boyfriend could walk out on me and there would be absolutely no collateral damage that would affect him. No kids, no pets, just a toothbrush and some clothes. So what keeps us coming back for more? I guess that would be love. The inexplicable synchronization of our actions and emotions. The thing that so many of us just know exists. I guess that’s it.
